| Got him. |
[03 Oct 2005|03:56am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 calm |
] |
We got him back!! I'm happy. Even if he doesn't remember anything, and really--who'd want to? I have to talk to him. I've been trying to be around and not in anyone's way lately. Things have been so...well okay 'bugshit insane' is a good term.
Speaking of insane, Christian sent me flowers. For an evil guy he's got good taste. I think Angel's sulking about them. (And maybe Andrew. Is he jealous or something?) It's weird. It kind of feels like the eye of the storm. Where most of the badness is all fine again, but I'm waiting for the parting shot to come from the bad guys. Something like that...I don't know.
I do know I'm happy to have Gunn back. Take that, universe.
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| Found Something |
[02 Sep 2005|11:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 busy |
] |
We didn't find Gunn. But we did find the room. I'm surprised, things actually went pretty smoothly. And it was in the basment. What I got in there? A vision to take this...dumb looking little urn thing. Looks like it's old and was made in pottery class by a six year old. But whatever it is, it's important. I grabbed it and now Wes an Fred are burning the midnight oil on figuring out what the hell it is.
I'd wanted to get Gunn...but we didn't see him. Whatever. We have a little time. That much the PTB's imparted with the last vison in the right direction. I'm goig to give Anya a call and maybe fax over a picture of it, see if she's seen anything like it before. (I also have to talk to her about an idea I had.)
I'm tired, and have been up all night looking through texts too. I need a drink, a bath, and sleep. Not necessarily in that order. We've got time but not that much.
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| Ready? GO!!! |
[30 Aug 2005|03:56am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 determined |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve |
] |
So we're getting ready to go in. Here we come, Wolfram and Hart--stay the hell out of our way. We'll be hitting the basement, hopefully quickly and quietly. But I'm not leaving until I find that stupid room and get what I went there for. Or unless I'm horribly killed. Either way, I'm ready to go. While I'd like for a lot of us to storm the place, it'd be best for a small tactical group. Less to do something stupid and get caught. So here's hoping for no bouts of vast stupidity from either side, and it's in and out.
No, it never goes that way. I realize this, but I'm thinking positively. I mean hey, Gunn was dead and now he's not. That's positive. Besides. No one messes with Cordelia Chase and gets away with it. And messing with friends qualifies.
We'll be leaving Andrew home. I'd rather he wasn't killed his first time out. I can explain the evil law firm to him when it's less crazy. (like that'll happen) less time-is-of-the-essensey. When someone I care about isn't slated for death. Yeah. Then. Until then he can write up schematics and all that other stuff that he seems so hot to do.
He's weird.
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| Vision |
[24 Aug 2005|12:26am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
determined |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
L.A. song by (Lindsey!) |
] |
I went to bed in an alright mood, really. I got some paperwork out of the way for my spankin new property, and I was feeling...well okay. Nothing too dire was hanging over my head.
It woke me up out of a dead sleep. I fell out of bed. It was bad. I felt like I was going to be sick, too, good thing I wasn't because ew.
But I saw him. I saw him. And this time it wasn't out in public, random thing that could have been me being hallucination gal. Oh no. The Powers finally answered. I've been practically begging for them to give me some hint on Gunn. And I finally got it.
I saw him. There's this guy, (hot guy, but not the point...) in a suit, practically had a blinking 'I'm Wolfram and Hart!' neon sign shoved up his ass. I don't know who he is? But I plan to find out. But after that, I saw Gunn. He was strapped to some chair, I swear it was like a Clockwork Orange or something. Creepy, and the him screaming in terrible agony didn't help my disposition. Whatever that chair is? Bad. Bad bad bad and did I mention bad? Bad.
That wasn't the worst part though. Torture, bad, but not exactly something that you can't recover from. (I'd know.) The worst part was getting a load of those big brown eyes of his staring sightlessly ahead, all dead. Again. Then he gets tossed into some furnace.
Know what?
Fuck that. No, nu-uh, not on my watch, kids. Now all I need to do is get myself a plan...or maybe pay a visit to Wolfram and Hart.
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| shock |
[17 Aug 2005|09:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 shocked |
] |
Either I'm hallucinating, or I saw someone I shouldn't.
When I was out, I saw Gunn. Charles Gunn. My friend. My dead friend.
And he was there, and looking good, and just having lunch alone.All I could do was stand there. I stared, with this feeling washing over me like I couldn't breathe. Like I'd been tossed into frigid water. It was a nice day, but for a few minutes there I didn't notice anything but him. I could have been hit by a car and wouldn't have noticed.
I want it to be real. But..if it is then why hasn't he come back? Where is he? Where did he go? I'd been about to make my feet move to go talk to him and he left...looked like he wasn't very happy. God, I'm so stupid, why didn't I move faster? Why did I just stand there and stare like a moron? What's wrong with me?
It was him...I know that. It wasn't just looks, he walked the same, he ate the same...it was him. It was all him.
And now I have to find him. I have to look, and find him, and bring him home, or...or something. I don't know. But I have to find him.
God I hope I'm not crazy.
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| The Super (Concussion) Club |
[16 Aug 2005|04:37am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Hope by Sublime |
] |
Well that was a strange night. Got a vision of that Kennedy chick. The one who's got a beef with Faith for some reason. Whatever. If she's that hot to hit up Faith...why's her shit always have to come back to bite everyone? Whatever. We went and found another fire, and she introduced Mr. Lead Pipe to Angel and Melaka's heads. They both got knocked out for a sec, and stupid girl tries to hit me. I called her out though I guess, so it's only fair. But she didn't get to as the glowy thing happened again and stopped her. Knocked her off her feet then she ran off.
Okay since when have I managed not to get hurt and the Slayer and vampire do? And we're talking KO'd? That's just a little weird. I took them back and patched them up, kept an eye on Melaka for concussion. Last thing we need is a time-displaced Slayer going into shock or dropping into a coma or whatever. And I patched up Angel too, he was a little cut and I cleaned the blood out of his hair and gave him an ice pack.
He's always so silly when I patch him up, like it's a treat or something. Dork. (even if it is cute)He was also being majorly weird about Andrew coming. It's like he's jealous or something. Since when? Maybe he needs a shrink. Or maybe he's just been so stressed out with everything that he's reaching out or something. I don't know. Sometimes I understand him all too well, and other times I just have to roll my eyes and wonder why it is he's survived this long.
It was a long night, and eventually I made it home. I swear, tomorrow? I'm going out. I'm going shopping, I'm spending some time in the sunshine and getting a nice meal somewhere fancy, and pretending for a good six hours that I'm normal.
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| Going Home |
[09 Aug 2005|05:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Times of Trouble by Temple of the Dog |
] |
Okay, got myself fixed, hooray hooray. (I am ignoring any and all memories of what my other half did when I wasn't there. Save for one thing.) Andrew is aparently going to be joining me in L.A. after, and I quote, 'settling his affairs'. Whatever. Like he's got affairs to settle. But he can have a bit to get his stuff together, I'll go back to Sunnydale to get him when he's ready. I for one, am headed home. I said my goodbyes to everyone, hung out with Anya a little while before hitting the road, and I'm so ready to be back in L.A. I want to get home, collapse onto my bed, sleep for a while, get up, hang with phantom Dennis for a little while, then go to the hotel. I miss everyone, so it'll be nice to see them.
I'll be happy to have things back to normal...or mostly normal. I'm still not going to deal well with Gunn being absent. I remember back when I was running around, trying to save him from himself. I wish I'd been there this time. But I can't stay hiding from that forever. There's things to do, people to stop from brooding, evil to thwart. I just hope Faith stays out of my way. I can't deal with her too while pretending I'm not watching for Gunn to walk in the door.
No, I'm not going to dwell right now. I can dwell later. When I'm back home and facing it. And I can distract myself with showing Andrew around. I still can't believe I bit him. Bit him! Left a scar! Gah!!
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| Fixing. |
[08 Aug 2005|05:39am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
So Anya called me, saying I had to get myself over to the Magic Box. She said something about needing to meet me there to fix things. I didn't get exactly what she meant, but whatever. I'll just head over and get that figured out. I'm all excited about things though. I'm back to being me, hanging out with Anya was actually a nice time, and if whatever she's got going on at the Magic Box works, I'll be good to go home. I'm missing everyone. It's time.
[open for anya and andrew]
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| I'm Back |
[29 Jul 2005|09:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
thoughtful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Sweet the Sting by Tori Amos |
] |
Back, back to me, finally!!! It's about time. I'm back to the lifestyle that I grew up with. I am back to being rich. I have money again!! I can afford spas like the one Anya and I went to! I'll invest and have even more eventually! I am doing well. And feeling a bit better about everything. I've had time to think. (getting a four handed massage gives you time to think) I'll be ready to head back to L.A. once I get myself fixed. I suppose that means I have to find that little nerdy guy. Shouldn't be that hard. I could have Willow or Tara do a spell for me to locate my demon half or something. Whatever, I'm sure they'll figure something out. I can't run around like this forever. I'll have to say goodbye to London. Which might be sort of sad but I figure she's better off in Sunnydale with Buffy.
It'll be good to get back, though. I miss everyone. I'm sure Wes and Fred have research for me to help with. It'll be nice to see Oz too. Sort of getting used to him being around the hotel. Faith I could care less about seeing, but I'll deal. Mostly I'm starting to really want to see Angel. It's strange, but really, it's been a long time since I've spent this much time away from him. It's starting to feel weird. So, back home it is. I'm sure I'll have to deal with some flack from Phantom Dennis too, even if I did call and leave a message for him saying I'd be away for a while. I'm sure he's lonely.
I still think about Gunn. He's going to be so missed. Like Doyle.
Okay, I'm not going to do this to myself. Time to get moving.
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| People To Save |
[19 Jul 2005|05:28am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 annoyed |
] |
Since things are still wrong, I'm doing all I can to help everyone here. I've been seperated, see. Torn. My human half seems to have left the country. I'm not right, but that doesn't mean I don't have a duty to uphold. Without a sheild...the human part, I see all the visions, I see all in the area who are in need of saving. And the ones I can save, shall be saved. Even if I have to do it through Andrew. He's reluctant, but I persuade him. I may be bound but he'll be doing my bidding until we can fix this.
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| New Plan--Vacation! |
[12 Jul 2005|06:07am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 devious |
] |
Well, Angel got into town. I know he went to the mansion to see London. I was going to go with, but thought maybe it'd be better if he got to know her on his own. She's a sweetie anyways, I'm sure they'll get along fine. I'm pretty sure he won't stake her...he'd better not. I'll kick his ass if he does.
But either way, that ought to be interesting. Other than that, I still haven't gotten any visions, and I kinda sorta asked Willow to do a 'check and see if I'm still demonic' thing and...aparently I'm demon free for the moment. Which is just SO not right. I'm sure it has something to do with that runt that did the wacky spell thing in Anya's shop...
Well, whatever. I sort of have a plan. I think I'll go talk to Anya, and while I'm temporarily non-demony and vision free--we can run to England and get our stuff. I think it's a good plan anyway. I'll just figure out how to get everything back when I've returned and rich. It'll be fine.
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| Weird |
[01 Jul 2005|04:16am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
worried |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Laura by Scissor Sisters |
] |
Okay. So weirdness happened with the stupid little twerp that pulled me into the present away from Buffy and Anya. Aparently he's convinced I'm a demon or something stupid. And Okay, part demon, but not all the way! And not his business either, I might add. So I don't know, he pulled something weird, and now I'm a little freaked out. I feel different, and I haven't had a vision since then. I hadn't been getting many anyways, but I mean I haven't even had a twinge. I know for a fact that the world hasn't suddenly become a safe place where there isn't anyone to help. So question is--what the hell did the kid DO?
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| A Call Home |
[22 Jun 2005|03:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
avoidy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Far Behind by Candlebox |
] |
Okay, so I'm still massively avoiding. Whatever, I'm allowed sometimes. I'm entitled. I don't have to explain myself! I'm still in Sunnydale. I've been spending time with Anya. We're trying to come up with ways to get our money, and I'm trying to come up with ways to not be totally messed up over Gunn, and I'm doing better with the money situation. I still don't know what to do or say. Thus--avoiding. I suppose though that I should call Angel. Let him know where I am, all that stuff. See how he is.
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| Still In Sunnydale |
[01 Jun 2005|09:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 discontent |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
A Stranger by A Perfect Circle |
] |
I guess everyone's back. Except for Gunn, but we know why that is, now don't we? I'm afraid I'm not dealing very well. Being at Buffy's house with everyone at once is a little like going to the zoo when the animals aren't caged. So, chaotic and you're fully expecting people to start biting soon. I've been taking to going for walks. I walked past the old house. What I used to have. Which got me thinking of the stash Anya and I have waiting in England. And Anya, who while isn't my new best friend or anything, is at least away from the rest of everyone, and can hold an intelligent conversation. Not revolving around things I don't want to talk about. I've stopped in once or twice to say hi and such. She rambles about the shop a lot, but at the moment it's better than sitting at Buffy's thinking about Gunn. I can't deal with Angel. I know it wasn't him but...I can't deal with him. I slapped him. I really shouldn't have done that. But I did. I've been doing the silent thing when around him. I simply don't know what to say. It's irrational of me, but...he killed Gunn. Or part of him did. Guess that's gonna take me a while to come to terms with. I haven't had a vision. I'm not sure if that's comforting or not.
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|
[17 May 2005|03:31am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
indescribable |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day |
] |
I'm back, and Buffy and Anya are safe, and it was so good to see Fred safe. Oz...lots of people of course we're still missing people too. Oz pulled me aside and told me about Gunn. I...it hasn't hit yet. Not really. I wasn't happy when he told me, and I cried, but that was more the shock I think. I'm realizing now that it hasn't sunk in yet. I know but I don't know. It's hard to explain. Maybe it's because I wasn't there to see it. I always thought we'd be together when...all of us. Me, Angel, Fred, Wes, Gunn, Lorne...Hell, maybe even Faith and Oz, though they came later...I just thought we'd be together. Why weren't we together? I feel guilty. And pissed. And a whole bunch of other things. I didn't get details, I'll have to talk to Willow for that. But...I don't know. I just keep thinking about when I followed him around that one night, trying to save him from himself. Maybe I should have tried harder. No. You know what? This isn't my fault. This is Ethan's fault, or that Zaboo guy or whatever. And if I have any say in it, they'll pay for it.
I had to get out of the house, too. So I grabbed Xander and headed out for some catch up time. We went out to dinner. I remember when I first got into the past that I'd thought about him and how I hadn't talked to him in too long and everything. Maybe after hearing about Gunn it really hit home that I really need to get on that type of thing before people die. Thus the catching up. We had a nice time I guess. Topics of conversation weren't all rosey, obviously. He hasn't had the best life of late either. I guess his girlfriend was murdered, pretty recently, too. Made me half happy that I haven't had a love life to speak of...at least they weren't made into horribly mutilated corpses. So to share that I hadn't exactly had a glamorous life in L.A., I actually told him about Doyle. That was harder to talk about than I thought it was going to be. I kind of thought I was over it, and mostly I am. Mostly. It wasn't all boo hoo talk though. We laughed about some old, less-traumatic memories. (And I still say he looked hot in his speedo.)
After we left the hidden French place, (which was nice, I used to eat there back when I had non-criminal parents) we had a little bit of fun in the form of random, spontaneous making out. It didn't go all the way or anything, but it was nice. He's gotten better at kissing, and his hands are still just as nice as I remember. It was something I think we both needed. Everyone needs a break from the trauma sometimes.
|
|
| Right Time, Wrong Place |
[08 May 2005|10:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cranky |
] |
So I got pulled back to present time, thank god for that. But somehow, I managed to lose Buffy and Anya in the process. Which is distressing. It's really bothering me. It's one thing for me to send a letter through time and hope that the giant brains in Sunny D come up with a way to get us back from where they know we are, it's an entirely different thing for us to look around in time for two wayward girls. So yes, I'm worried. Ethan and some kid brought me here, I guess. Summoned me or something? I'm not real clear on that part, and I don't really care right now. I grabbed Ethan and am heading to the Summers's residence. The crusty British weasel had something to do with this, and he's not going to just get away with it, not if I can't help it. He said something about some other Watcher guy, too, I'll have to talk to Giles about that, but I don't think for even a second that Ethan didn't have more to do with it than just being package boy. He's never been that type, he wants to have his own dig stuck in there. So he can think I'm an idiot all he wants? I'm not buying it.
People better be okay, or I'm going to get so overly cranky that the word will need to be redefined.
|
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| London Bridge |
[06 Apr 2005|03:56am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
discontent |
] |
Well, after my lovely bath, which wasn't near as lovely as a bath back home will be, but got me clean, and getting changed, we finally headed for London Bridge. I've been quiet. It's feeling weird even to me, but I just have a lot on my mind. There's all these stupid thoughts keep going through my head. About London, about home...about everyone else. I'd welcome another skull cracking vision if it'd tell me something useful. But they've fallen silent. After having so many in such a short ammount of time, it's disquieting. I just want to get home. I've got this irrational idea that if we could just get home, everything will be okay. Logically, I know that's probably not going to be the case. It's not like the badness ever stops, and it's not going to change what happened here, and we still don't even know if everyone else is okay. I remember the fleeting slivers of visions I'd gotten of the others, and wish I could remember more. I can't. I keep wracking my brain, trying to make myself remember, but I can't. I remember Giles in a cowboy hat. That's the clearest image. But it looks so strange. I don't know. I'm tired now. I want to go home, and then I can deal with whatever catastrophe is happening there.
Now if Buffy would show up already, we could get moving. I should have left the asylum keys for her. I kinda forgot I still had them....too late now.
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queencor's journal
distressed